It takes a lifetime to build trust in a relationship but only a moment to completely destroy it. Sometimes, those moments happen so quickly that we don’t even have the opportunity to stop them.
Being unfaithful to your significant other is something that you can never take back again. There may be forgiveness but forgetting is a very hard thing to do.
When one husband was unfaithful to his wife in the following story, it was too much for her to handle. She let him back into the home eventually, but there was a price that had to be paid.
My wife Rosa and I have been blissfully married for 15 years. We went through many life circumstances together and consistently found solutions together. We have transcended the roles of husband and wife. We were soul mates and our marriage was based on trust and mutual understanding; we have never cheated or betrayed each other. Recently, however, our family has been rapidly disintegrating.
I accept that I have committed a reprehensible act; I have committed adultery with my client. I am not sure of the reasoning behind my actions; my body was on autopilot and therefore I could not continue. To take responsibility, I immediately ended the relationship with the client and transferred her contract to a colleague. I confessed to my wife and I have been undergoing individual therapy ever since.
My wife was deeply distressed and despondent at first; she was completely at a loss. I was honestly worried about her mental state. I was expecting significant drama, though I had never seen her in such a state of despondency before.
I begged her not to divorce me.
I suggested counseling and therapy and even allowed her to have relationships with other men, but she showed little interest. She asked me not to contact her and give her more time to deal with her suffering alone. She insisted that I move out and wait for her phone call regarding her suggestions for our future life together.
I packed up and moved in with my parents. I contacted her daily and she seemed depressed and irritable; her voice conveyed a deep emotional pain that I could understand. She refused any help and repeatedly informed me that she needed another room which I provided her.
Three weeks after I confessed my infidelity, my wife started exhibiting strange behavior. She contacted me and asked me to prepare to relocate back to our residence, which I was happy to do. She expressed her desire to try reconciliation and confirmed her role as the ideal partner a man could wish for.
She cooked my favorite meals, left me love notes, and bought me new clothes to highlight her attraction to me. Her answers were lukewarm at best. She expressed her gratitude with a smile and again expressed her affection for me. She’s barely started. A discussion of the events that had passed between us showed that I was not surprised; However, I saw her as a resilient and rational individual, convinced that she had decided not to let a fleeting connection jeopardize our marriage.
My wife’s behavior seemed completely unremarkable, but there was one aspect that I found confusing and she never explained it to me. I found that she started going to the gynecologist too often because her visits were basically weekly rather than regular checkups. This pattern started immediately after I disclosed to her that he was unfaithful.
I was thinking about possible serious health problems my wife might have and these visits gave me insomnia. he had problems with her reproductive system and that is why we did not conceive children. “As I believed.”
When he confronted my wife about her health and gynecological appointments, she smiled and then told me she had no health problems. She stated that she had seen a doctor to discuss her pregnancy; I was speechless and then felt immense joy at the prospect of a baby.
However, my husband broke the shocking news. She acknowledged that the child was not mine. She stated that she had an extramarital affair with another man, much like I had with another woman, and that she got pregnant by him. At that moment I felt like my whole life was turned upside down.
My wife maintained that all events in our family were fair and she believed that each of us got our due. She suggested we stay together and hinted that I could adopt the baby if I wanted to. She clarified that she no longer communicates with the child’s real father and mentioned that he will not react favorably when he finds out about her pregnancy.
I believe the child is mine and my wife has never been unfaithful to me.
I believe her intention was revenge; she was trying to put me through the agony she was going through after my harrowing revelation. But what if she was true and the baby wasn’t mine? What steps should I take in this situation? I am conflicted.
